Swimming in the joys of life

I've been absent from my reflective self lately, and consequently absent for documenting my life. Sigh. My apologies.

I've been overwhelmed with homework, caffeine, student organizations, freezing weather, my usually lack of punctuality, an uncleanly living space, a recent brief sickness, and constant thoughts of certain person. With all this fighting for time and energy in my busy little head, it's easy to understand why my head hurts so often.

This semester took off before I was ready... like in the rest of my life, it ignored my request for time stoppage. Classes, professors, work and their attributed obligations had no desire to stop and let me clear my conscience and prepare for another semester of grueling work. And yet, here I am, treading water, but certainly afloat. I will get through this; I always do. With God, I can exceed my own expectations. But this semester, I've been so busy, I momentarily lost that comfort. It took a weekend of soul searching, earnest praying, and honest analyzing to get myself in the mode I need to be in. And here I am, back on track, ready for what's up next. Thanks, God. You're always there when I need you most.



Last weekend brought a joyous surprise in the form of an early visitor, who made my weekend wonderful, in every way imaginable. We stopped, together, and smelled the roses, for what felt like the first time this semester. A deep, challenging movie, intellectual conversations, coffee-shop rendezvous, cider and doughnuts all sprinkled those glorious lazy days, and I am ever thankful to the one who brought me so much joy. Thank you.



Then... There was this past weekend, which really all circled in purpose around yesterday: October 22, 2006. My 21st birthday; a day of notorious and expected celebration in America. The specifics of such a celebration should always be of custom design, conforming to the soul of the celebratee. And mine certainly did. Surrounded by my two best friends in all the world, I took my last sip of illegal alcohol in the form of exhilarating wine in the confines of my house, and then stepped into a bar to have my first ever legal drink in America. With a stamped hand proclaiming my 21-ness, I danced the night away with the girls whom I turn to every time my emotions prevail, and to whom I always hold open arms. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Where am I in this mess?

Papers everywhere. Books open, strewn about the floor and desk. To-do lists mushed together into a heaping, everlasting pile of responsibilities and obligations.

Mini naps followed up with peanut butter toast, washed down with a gallon of coffee and sugar.

Email box is overflowing with announcements, requests, demands, and correspondences.

Half-read, half-ruined newspapers mushed in the bottom of my backpack. Half-knowledge of current events graces my brain.

Dirty laundry, dirty dishes, smelly shoes, and sweaty sheets. But, hey, who's got time to tend to 'em?

Sleepy eyes, stubbed toes, and a speedy bicycle heading to class, a little late, as always.



Such is my life as a college student.



Somewhere, in this mess, is me. And someday, I'm gonna find her, scold her for being such a pig, and push her out into the real world where she can actually make something of herself.

Someday.